Rules handed down tend to get worked around. Rules a family writes together, adults included, have a much better chance of sticking.

Published October 2026 · Last reviewed: October 18, 2026

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that every family make a media plan built around its own routines and values, and revisit it as children grow. A written agreement turns that plan into something everyone can point to when a disagreement comes up.

What to know

A good agreement is short, specific, and fair. It answers a few questions: where phones live at night, when screens are off, which apps are allowed, who can be contacted, and what your child should do if something online upsets or scares them. That last part matters most. An agreement that only lists punishments teaches kids to hide problems.

What parents can do

1. Pick a calm time. A weekend breakfast works better than the night of a screen-time argument.
2. Start with goals. Ask everyone what they want: more sleep, fewer arguments, time for sports or friends, privacy.
3. Agree on screen-free times and places. Meals, homework, and the hour before bed are common choices. Many families charge all phones in the kitchen overnight.
4. Set app and contact rules by age. Younger children: parent approves every app and contact. Teens: agree on which apps need a conversation first.
5. Write the “tell us” promise. “If anything online makes you uncomfortable, scared, or confused, you can tell us and you will not be in trouble for telling.”
6. Add parent rules. For example: no phones at dinner, no texting while driving, ask before posting a photo of your child.
7. Decide consequences in advance. Keep them proportionate and connected to the rule that was broken.
8. Sign it and post it. Put it on the fridge. Set a date to review it.

Sample rules to start from

• Phones charge in the kitchen from 9 p.m. until morning.
• No screens at the dinner table, for anyone.
• We ask before downloading a new app or game.
• We only chat with people we know in real life, unless a parent says otherwise.
• We never share our address, school, passwords, or photos in a swimsuit or pajamas.
• Autoplay and nonessential notifications stay off.
• If someone asks us to keep a secret from our parents online, we tell a parent.

Talk about it

• Ages 6 to 9: “What is your favorite thing to do on the tablet? What should we do if something pops up that you do not understand?”
• Ages 10 to 12: “Which apps are your friends using? What do you think a fair amount of time is on a school night?”
• Ages 13 and up: “Which rules feel fair to you? Which would you change, and what would you be willing to agree to in return?”

When to get more help

If screen use is crowding out sleep, schoolwork, or friendships, or if your child becomes very distressed when a device is taken away, talk to your pediatrician. The AAP’s free online Family Media Plan tool can also help you build a personalized plan.

Sources and further reading

• HealthyChildren.org (AAP): How to Make a Family Media Use Plan
• HealthyChildren.org (AAP): Family Media Plan tool