A first phone is easiest to set up well on the day it arrives. Here is a 30-minute checklist to work through with your child.

Published October 2026 · Last reviewed: October 18, 2026

The free family controls from Apple and Google are capable and harder for children to bypass than many paid apps. Setting them up together also opens a conversation about how the phone will be used. Menu names change with software updates, so confirm the steps on the device in front of you.

What to know

On iPhone, the tools are Family Sharing and Screen Time. On Android, they are in Google Family Link. Both let a parent approve downloads, set content ratings, schedule downtime, and share location. Both work best when the child’s account is created as a child account from the start.

What parents can do

1. Create the child account through Family Sharing (iPhone) or Family Link (Android).
2. Set two passcodes: a device passcode your child knows, and a separate Screen Time or Family Link passcode that only you know.
3. Require approval for downloads and purchases (Ask to Buy on Apple; approvals in Google Play).
4. Set content ratings for apps, movies, and websites that fit your child’s age.
5. Limit communication to approved contacts, and on iPhone confirm Communication Safety is on.
6. Schedule downtime, especially overnight, and share location with family.
7. Leave automatic updates on.

House rules to agree on

• Phones charge overnight outside the bedroom.
• New apps start with a conversation, not just an approval.
• A parent may look at the phone, and will say so when they do.
• Telling a parent about a problem does not mean losing the phone.

Talk about it

• “Which three rules for this phone feel fair to you?”
• “What would you do if someone you don’t know sent you a message?”

Revisit these settings each birthday. The goal is to hand over control gradually, so your child builds the judgment to manage it on their own.

Sources and further reading

• Apple: Families
• Google Family Link
• Common Sense Media: app and game ratings